Archives for WEDDINGS & SHOWERS category

Most of the romantic and ideal wedding scenes we have seen in movies involve cute and huggable children. However, being the jolly, innocent and fun creatures that they are, most often, weddings, at least in the movies, involving children turn out to be hilarious and disastrously funny.

We know that children are always seeking fun and will not stop to entertain themselves during boring hours. Children can not easily cope up and comprehend the fun adults have on weddings. The occasion can be very boring to them.

When children get bored, they usher in trouble to adults. They can roam around, throw cakes at people, fight with other kids or ruin things. These are fun to them, but can be nightmares to adults, especially to brides and grooms during weddings.

Children and invitations

Admit it. The sad reality is that more and more brides, and grooms as well, do not like the idea that children will be coming over to their weddings.

Just the thought of crying children and children messing up with her gown and that of the bride’s maids make several brides throw up. Another sad fact is that some parents are not very sensitive to the issue. They could not think and understand how a bride could dislike cute and loveable kids in her wedding.

Wedding etiquette books and guides have it that the best way to exclude children to the occasion is to mention it in the invitations.

According to most wedding etiquette books, brides and grooms who dislike kids around their weddings can do two things: one, do not mention kids’ names in the invites; and two, spread the word that children are not wanted in the wedding.

The second option can be brutal, but it is nicer than having to control kids’ tantrums and annoying acts during weddings.

Because not all people understand and know wedding etiquettes, it is advisable that at some occasions, the couple should be straight forward to inform the guests before hand that the wedding would involve an ‘adult reception.’

Frankly telling parents-guests that kids will not be welcome in the wedding can also be a viable option. For some, the gesture will not be that polite, but practicality will tell other wise. Every bride and groom wants solemnity for their much- awaited moments. Understand that.

Another tactic to exclude children in wedding invitations is to mention the number of seats reserved for a particular guest. For example, Mr and Mrs Winterburg are reserved only two seats at the reception. That means, that Mr and Mrs Winterburg’s five kids do not have places in the wedding. They should know that.

If the guests still fall clueless and insist on bringing along their children with them, call them before the wedding and explain why children should not be attending the wedding. Educate them a little about wedding etiquettes.

Wedding etiquettes for children’s parents

For parents, if it is not mentioned in the wedding invitation that children are not allowed to attend the wedding, and the couple and hosts did not call to emphasize the idea, then it is safe to assume that you could tag along your children.

However, be informed and bear in mind the simple wedding etiquettes for parents. You would not want to ruin the wedding just because your kid suddenly threw an act or suddenly threw a tantrum.

Assume the position of the bride and the groom. Think of how you would feel if you were on their shoes, and children are creating scenes at your wedding. It would not be pretty and cute, right?

Make the initiative to leave your kids at home, if you can help it, when you attend the wedding. They could play around the house or watch the television or do their stuff at home. They might get bored throughout the wedding ceremony and spoil everything.

For those helplessly take along children with them on weddings, wedding etiquette experts advise you to make the most of the opportunity. In other words, make the occasion a venue or time for teaching the kids of simple and practical wedding etiquettes.

Make the occasion a teachable moment by informing the kid that he or she should behave through out the occasion just like how to adult guests behave.

This will be the best teaching occasion to shoe the kids how to act during weddings, or train them about some table and social manners.

Moreover, wedding etiquettes tell us to learn from each wedding. For the couple, on how to be good hosts. For guests, on how to be good guests and for parents to be good teachers to their kids who are incidentally, also attending the wedding.

During the entire course of the wedding, there are several instances that require wedding etiquette wording. What is wedding etiquette wording? It is a collection for phrases or paragraphs meant for the couple’s union.

The wedding etiquette wording follows certain rules to make it as effective and elegant as possible. Traditionally, the bride handles all the wedding details, including the wedding etiquette wording for the groom. But thankfully, now there are some things that can be handed over to other people like the wedding planner, a member of the family or even the clergy.

The announcement:

The engagement can be announced to both families in an intimate gathering. However, the law requires that the union be posted in an ad as public announcement of their nuptial. The wedding etiquette wording for this can be kept to a minimum.

The details include, the name of the couple and their parents, the date and location of the wedding and the reception information. More elegant announcements can run a full-page story about the couple’s history but members of the elite society mostly do this wedding etiquette wording.

The invitation:

After establishing your guest list, it is time to send out the invitations. The wedding etiquette wording is very important and must be written while considering the marital status of the couple’s parents and the couple themselves.

As more and more people get divorced, the wedding etiquette wording has evolved to accommodate the changes. If all the parents are divorced, the invitation should include all parents’ names, with the bride’s parents first. The mothers should be written down before names of their ex-husbands.

It is important to note that wedding etiquette wording dictates that the invitation contains the following: name of the couple, their parents, the date and location of the wedding, wedding attire requirements, the map to the wedding and reception area, the bridal registry information and other details such as a wedding website of the couple.

As a matter of wedding etiquette wording, all the wedding invitations must come from the bride’s side, even for the friends of the groom. They should be sent out six weeks before the wedding day. Guests from out of town should be considered and have their invitations a lot earlier than the rest so they can prepare for the event.

The wedding vows:

Traditionally, wedding vows are spoken to each other as dictated by the clergy. However some couples prefer to make theirs special by making personalize d vows. The couple themselves should write the wedding etiquette wording for vows. Quoting a poem or a song is acceptable as long as it is the person’s sincere words.

The toast:

Prior to the wedding reception, the family should be aware of the program. At this stage, the host should have informed the concerned parties of the wedding etiquette wording speeches they will make. It helps to write down what one has to say to avoid stammering. The parents or a very close family member from each side of the family does the wedding etiquette wording for the speech.

Another speech requiring a wedding etiquette wording is the best man and maid of honor. Usually expressing their long friendship and wishes for their friends, the wedding etiquette wording for these speeches is short but meaningful.

The thanksgiving:

Another speech that needs wedding etiquette wording is the one given by the couple at the end of the program. The couple makes an expression of gratitude to the bride and groom’s families, guests and everyone behind the wedding event. Although the wedding etiquette wording may be spontaneous than the previous speeches, it is nonetheless sincere and appropriate.

The Thank you card:

A week after the wedding it is customary to send out thank you cards to the guests, those who gave a gift and the people who organized the wedding event (including the wedding planner, the musicians, the floral arranger, etc). A simple wedding etiquette wording would be a thank you note or a poem signed by the newlyweds.

This type of wedding etiquette wording job is often left to the bride’s family including those guests from the groom’s side. This is written on a plain white card. Whether the couple uses a standard thank you card or print a personalized one, the wedding etiquette wording should always be sincere, nice and unforgettable.

Getting married these days is very costly. For brides, before you buy from suppliers of your choice or hire the most costly services of makeup artists, wedding coordinators, coutourier, etc, talk to your husband-to-be first and discuss your budget.

Before you go bridezilla by demanding this and that for your wedding, determine who pays for your wedding and will cover the largest percentage of your wedding budget.

Below are the wedding etiquette on who pays or should pay for your wedding. This will serve as a guide for couples who would like to know the basic etiquette in who pays for what.

– Traditional Wedding Etiquette - Who Pays For the Wedding?

Wedding Etiquette on who pays for the weddings has evolved for the last century. Traditionally, wedding etiquette books dictate that the bride’s father should pay for the wedding. This was during the time when girls were kept by their fathers inside their house, not allowed to work and go to school, but do household chose and must have lessons from lady manners to teach them social etiquette and wedding etiquette in preparation for their life as married women.

A daughter was ‘given’ out by her father to a boy or a man who his father thought could feed or fend his daughter when he was gone. And since he would be giving his daughter away, he would host his daughter’s wedding and pay for everything as a sign of his agreement to his daughter’s marriage. This is the traditional wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding.

– Modern Wedding Etiquette - Who Pays For the Wedding

Today, wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is not as rigid as it was before. The bride and the groom can go traditional, and thus should ask the father of the bride to host the wedding and pay for the entire wedding expenses. Or if the parents of the groom have expressed their desire to be a co-host of the wedding event, they may do so, especially if the parents of the groom are wealthy and are able to cover some of the expenses.

But since most couples nowadays are both earning their own money, it is not a violation of wedding etiquette if the bride and the groom decide to pay for their own wedding. Some couples prefer to pay for the their own wedding so that they can have more control over the number of guests and who are the persons to invite and how the celebration of the wedding should be held.

Wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is, most of the time, being set aside to grant the wishes of the couple and immediate family members.

– Alternative Ways of Paying - Wedding Etiquette

Because of the high cost of living these days, paying for the entire cost of the wedding may be beyond the means of the parents of the bride or even of the parents of the groom. If the bride and the groom are earning money for themselves, they may consider paying for the entire expenses fo their wedding.

However, there may be parents who would like to contribute to the wedding cost. Brides and grooms should be sensitive with this matter. Don’t say no to your parents even if you think they will hand to you everything that they have. It is their joy to see you get married and their pleasure to play a big part of your wedding (that is by shelling out money for the wedding cost).

It is more reasonable if you will sit down with your parents and discuss with them the projected costs of your wedding and ask them which part of the wedding expenses would they comfortably want to fund. This way, your parents will have an idea of the exact amount that they will shell out while the two of you, bride and groom, will know how much is it that you still need to raise.

Wedding etiquette on who pays for what is not anymore big question these days. The only etiquette that is required of bride and groom is to talk out with their parents the issue of costs or who pays only if the parents have voiced desire to co-host the wedding affair.

Being the maid of honor and the best man have a number of wedding etiquette duties. This includes the church responsibilities of handling the train, making sure that everyone is in their place and hosting the reception program.

One of the important duties for any maid of honor and best man is to arrange for the bridal shower and stag party. Wedding etiquette for showers or stags can be done separately or together. It is a traditional wedding etiquette for the bridesmaids to have their own celebration as well as the groomsmen for their stag party.

For the bridal shower:

Women have more finesse when it comes to bridal shower parties. The wedding etiquette for such events may require the maid of honor to come up with original ideas for the shower. The first thing to consider is the format. The wedding etiquette for formats can be from the formal (a dinner) or informal (strip club party).

Aside from that, there are other alternatives like going to the spa, spending a party at the circus or whatever the maid of honor thinks that the bride will appreciate. A bridal shower is thrown in honor of the bride and her friendship with the girls. Wedding etiquette only calls for all the bridesmaid’s help in organizing it and making it memorable.

A proper bridal shower observes the wedding etiquette of a program. A simple one will do. Depending on the theme, the program starts off with an introduction of the bride’s friends, a round of games for everyone, the gift giving (if any) and then dinner.

Gifts for the bridal shower are optional but are a great wedding etiquette to follow. The bride’s friends can chip in for one extravagant gift or each of them can bring a piece for the bride. The wedding etiquette gift for bridal showers can be as tame as matching monogrammed towels to something naughty like lingerie.

The wedding etiquette for games is to celebrate it as a fun reminder of the bride’s single days or something about her current relationship. It is acceptable to have games purely for fun. But what the maid of honor has to remember is the shower giveaways.

Already considered as an art form, the giveaways or gift bags are a wedding etiquette must have. The bags should contain a souvenir (any object of choice chosen by the maid of honor), a thank you card for making the event and maybe a picture of the couple for remembrance. Yes it sounds corny but it is about the bride and groom.

Another wedding etiquette to remember is the timing of the bridal shower. An event like this should be celebrated weeks before the wedding date. This will allow the bride enough time to relax and truly enjoy the shower. And should she get drunk then, there is a lot of time to recover from the hang over.

For the best man:

A stag party is usually celebrated weeks before the wedding celebration. It is bad wedding etiquette to hold it the day before the ceremony. Things can go wrong what that happens. Imagine the groom arriving with a big headache.

All the stag party is concerned is the budget of the event. If the best man can get as much funding from the other groomsmen, the event can go well underway. Most wedding etiquette for a stag party is not followed but the concept is there.

Hosting is a wedding etiquette that the best man has to perform. Unlike the bridal shower, this process is very informal. The hosting job may only go as far as introducing the other groomsmen and then inviting in the strippers.

The wedding etiquette of providing food and drinks still apply though. If the stag party is held at the hotel, room service can be ordered up to their room. If they decide to celebrate in a bar, the menu is easily available to them.

The groomsmen can get as frisky as they want with the hired strippers but as a wedding etiquette rule, the groom should have self-control. The saying “Look but don’t touch” applies. Or if it is unavoidable, “Touch but don’t squeeze” will do.

Stag parties are different from bridal showers because men view this as their last hurrah. The most important wedding etiquette rule or both parties is to never ask what transpired that night. It will only open up suspiciousness and could cancel a wedding. Brides, just be glad that your man made it to the altar. By him showing up there and meeting you means that nothing further happened.

In our modern society, no one would care if you break a small rule or bend some rules to make accommodate your wishes. And this also applies to wedding ettiquette + clothing. You can break some wedding etiquette rule according to your wishes.

Although old and traditional rules have now been modified, you should learn the basic wedding etiquette on clothing before you bend some and break some.

Below are some guide for you, bride-to-be, on wedding etiquette + clothing:

– Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Bride

Traditionally the bride wears white. This is said to signify virginal purity and innocence. But these days there’s a slight changes in wedding etiquette on clothing for bride. Brides are now allowed to wear a variation of white, such as ivory, creme, and pale pastel colors to match the wedding’s color motif.

For a widow bride who will wed for the second time, the tradition is for a bride to wear lilac or lavender. However, modern brides don’t follow this tradition faithfully. Even ministers and priests allow widow brides to wear wedding dress that they feel appropriate. In fact modern wedding etiquette + clothing on widow bride is cream or ivory colored wedding dress.

For a church wedding, brides are asked to wear formal and more traditional wedding dress. The old wedding etiquette on clothing for church wedding has been kept for centuries although the church do allow creme colored wedding dress and a tube and low back style wedding dress as long as the shoulders are draped with semi-transparent cloth or the veil covers it.

With wedding that will be held at the registry office or which is more know as the civil wedding ceremony, brides are allowed to wear any wedding dress that they like. Simple evening dress may do, even your regular working clothes may do. With civil wedding ceremony, the rule on wedding etiquette + clothing do not apply.

Of course, if you want to avoid cringing at your photograph when people look at it or if you yourself look at it in the future, don’t try to wear a wedding dress that don’t look good at you. Forget the wedding etiquette on clothing, just follow the few good teachings of street smart sensibilities. Extreme fashion didn’t look good yesterday and won’t look good today and tomorrow.

The wedding etiquette on clothing if the bride is formally dressed, the rest of the wedding party and wedding guests should be formally dressed.

– Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Groom

The traditional wedding etiquette on clothing for the groom, the male members of the family and the groomsmen should wear morning dress. For evening weddings the modern wedding etiquette on clothing for groom is Tuxedo and black bow tie. For civil ceremonies, groom may wear suit or match the dress theme of his bride. If his bride will sport a summer look, he should wear a soft, flowing, linen polo and beige cotton pants to match his bride’s summer get-up.

– Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Bridesmaids

Wedding etiquette on clothing for bridesmaid dictates that bridesmaids should wear any dress that the bride chooses for them. However, bridesmaids may choose to dress differently with each other. It is acceptable that bridesmaids have different dress the designs. The only thing that they should maintain is the color of the dress. They should wear the same color, the color that the bride requires.

– Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Male Attendants

Ushers and best man cannot choose the dress that they want. They will dress the same as the groom. If the groom wears a morning dress or a tuxedo and a black bow tie, then so will they.

– Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Immediate Family

Any close family will dress formally. The two mothers, that of the bride and the groom, must not both wear dress of the same color, while the fathers wear any dress that the groom chooses. The choices, however, is just between black tie and morning dress.

– Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Guests

The invitation speaks what guests should wear. A formal invitation requires them to wear a formal attire. Modern wedding etiquette on clothing for guests has allowed male guests to wear black tie even if the wedding is a bit informal. For the female guests, they are now allowed to wear evening dress to match their partner’s black tie.

Beginning on the day he proposed, there are certain wedding etiquette announcements to be observed. The couple should be aware of these wedding etiquette announcements or else the wedding could fall into jeopardy.

There are wedding etiquette announcements to be observed when breaking the news to the parents. First, let the people closest to you know of your plans. The groom must ask the bride’s parents for her hand in marriage. (yes, it’s old fashioned, but what’s wrong with that?) It is traditional that men do wedding etiquette announcements to both families but modern times have changed this. Now, both of them can make the wedding etiquette announcements together personally.

The wedding etiquette announcements for friends can be personally by the couple. They can also plan a party for both their friends and turn it into an engagement party. The couple on this event can choose their maid of honor and best man.

Wedding etiquette announcements for sponsors should be done personally with the help of the parents. The sponsors can be chosen by influence, convenience, prestige, or by relationship. The important thing to remember is to get them to commit in being your sponsors and list them down in your planner.

The wedding etiquette announcements for wedding details can be overwhelming, which is why most couples hire a wedding coordinator. If your budget can fit in the fee for this person’s services, hire them. It will greatly lift the pressure of planning, organizing and supervising the entire event.

The maid of honor often performs wedding etiquette announcements for the bridal shower. The bridesmaids, mother and other women family members are invited to chip in and join the event. Depending on what they have prepared, the bride can expect something as elegant as a garden tea party or wild as a trip to the local men’s strip joint.

The best man makes the wedding etiquette announcements for the bachelor party or stag party. Stag parties require little preparation since most parties only require five things: the groom, food, drinks, music and entertainment. The entertainments have wedding etiquette announcements of using either a stripper or just a regular DVD player and watching x-rated movies.

There is a third option of making wedding etiquette announcements for a “couple” shower. Friends of both the bride and groom organize and celebrate this event. The best choice for this is to have a themed party, something with fantasy on it like a masque ball or have it done like Carmen Elektra and her husband Dave of Inxs where it was one big stripper party.

The wedding preparations:

The wedding etiquette announcements for the flowers should be booked months in advance. The same goes for the caterer, the arranger and the musicians. If the couple decides to hire a wedding coordinator, this will be an easier job for them.

The wedding etiquette announcements for the dress fitting is should also be made weeks in advance. Any adjustments to the dress can be done as the wedding date comes closer. For the men, their clothes are classic pieces so it is no problem for the coordinator. However, it is a must that the groomsmen have a neat hair cut prior to the wedding.

The photography and video documentation needs of the couple should be provided by the coordinator. As a rule, wedding etiquette announcements for photo and video coverage of the wedding can be open to bidders. This way they couple can sample the best work and hire the one they like most at a price that they can handle.

On the wedding event:

Within weeks of the big day, the wedding etiquette announcements for invitations should have already been mailed. Along with it are the wedding etiquette announcements regarding the attire, program, location of the wedding and a map to the reception.

The wedding etiquette announcements for the wedding program at the ceremony is usually printed and given to the guests as they arrive at the church. The couple can skip this if they prefer an informal ceremony.

With the solemnity of church celebration over, it is now time for everyone to relax at the reception. There is still another program in the event but most of it is well-wishes, thanksgiving and entertainment for everyone who attended the wedding.

More often than not, it is the guests that we often times hear complain about the outcome of the wedding, that the bride and groom violated wedding etiquette, and so on and so forth.

Guests seem to be forgetting that wedding etiquette is not just for the bride and groom. There is wedding etiquette reserved for the guests too.

We have outlined here some wedding etiquette advice for guests. This advice is taken from different sources and may help you understand how to act and socialize with grace and manners in any wedding.

Wedding Etiquette Advice 1: Thou shalt respond to an invitation, immediately!

Invited guests who do not respond to an invitation are the major cause of headaches to the bride and groom. There are guest who will say regrets to the bride and groom just a day before the wedding day. While some guests will not reply to the invitation at all and then show up without notice to the wedding ceremony and wedding reception.

Wedding Etiquette Advice #1 says this act is totally rude! Today, the bride and groom often pay for their own wedding. They rely on their savings and salary to fund their wedding. They are not asking their fathers anymore to host their big day.

So, with the limited budget that the couples have allotted for their wedding (of course they need to save some as a startup money) the couples need to know the exact head count so they would know if they will go over their budget. Failure of guests to reply to an RSVP will give the bride and groom headaches. They would not know how many guests should they book in the hotel or caterer. And also, if you aware of this fact, if the bride and groom add you to the guest list and if there is a sit-down dinner, they will pay for your head even though you did not attend the wedding/reception.

Please follow this wedding etiquette advice if you don’t want to be called an unmannered brute. Reply to an invitation immediately.

We, as guests, expect the bride and groom to practice wedding etiquette, and so should we.

Wedding Etiquette Advice 2: Thou shalt be dressed appropriately.

This wedding etiquette advice is not meant to promote fashion, although being fashionable is really good. This wedding etiquette advice came next to the wedding etiquette advice on responding immediately to an invitation. Because after you respond to an invitation, the next thing you will do is either buy a gift (if you still have some spare money to buy your bride/groom friend a gift) or attend the wedding (if you do not have the money to buy a gift, you can skip the gift giving).

This wedding etiquette advice is for your own good. You would not want to look like a gate crasher at your friends wedding, or do you? If it is a formal wedding, you would not want to be caught wearing a jeans and t-shirt, right? You would definitely look like a gate crasher if you are not dressed properly.

The wedding etiquette advice if the event is informal ~ please refrain from wearing jeans and tank top or t-shirt. For women, kindly wear a cocktail dress or a pretty Sunday dress. For men, please, wear a suit. Just forgo your tie. You can even roll up your sleeves and open the top button of your shirt to make it look less formal. You would definitely look dashing in a suit!

Wedding Etiquette Advice 3: Thou shalt greet the newlyweds.

Brides and grooms want to feel you are happy for them and your greetings will greatly be appreciated. This wedding etiquette advice is not hard, isn’t it? All you have to do is go to the bride and groom and greet the bride, “Best Wishes” while the groom “Congratulations.”

Saying your greetings is not only a thumbs-up act, it is also a kind one.

 

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